


Accident

by y0w0suke



Series: Vent Fics [5]
Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, This i like to call "Isa self projects onto a character again"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:54:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23038927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/y0w0suke/pseuds/y0w0suke
Summary: It was a complete accident the first time.
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Hanamura Yosuke/Persona 4 Protagonist, Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji
Series: Vent Fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1408267
Comments: 1
Kudos: 81





	Accident

**Author's Note:**

> This was made
> 
> Just so I don't do this stuff
> 
> Uhh
> 
> Just take the tags seriously-

It was a complete accident the first time.

He was riding his bike in the town he just moved to so that he can get to know the place better(Everyone was gone for the day it seems like..the town wouldn’t berate him for once) and he accidently cut his arm by running his bike into a fence.

He expected it to hurt. He expected to feel _pain_ out of the cut.

Instead he felt...relief.

He felt his whole body almost relax when he stared at the cut, almost mesmerized by it. Why isn’t it hurting? Why does it feel _good_?

The faux brunette quickly hid the cut from his parents, muttering that he just ran into the pole, but he didn’t have any bruises. They both frown, but decided to believe him.

Why wouldn’t they believe their son?

* * *

Second time it wasn't an accident.

He just wanted to test something.

They punched him that day. Said he was the problem of their family business' going down(it was his fault...it's always his fault in this miserable town, isn't it?), blamed them for Junes, blamed him for _everything._

He locked himself in the bathroom, a kitchen knife he stole from the kitchen in his shaky hands. He looks down at the knife, than the outside of his arm.

….He needs to see if that incident a few months back was real..

Slowly, he brings the knife down to his arm, and slowly makes a small cut.

He hates how he almost _melts_ at the cut.

He does it again.

And again.

_And again and again and again and again and again-_

He stops when he sees his arms.

Cuts cover his whole arms. 

_Shit-_

He quickly grabs the bandages from the cabinet, not even bothering with the cream they use as he patches his arms hurt.

Why..didn't it hurt again..?

Why did it feel so _good_ to do it…?

….why does his body want _more….?_

* * *

The fifth time was after the new kid (Narukami?) saw his...shadow? Is that what it was called?

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter at _all._

The new student saw a side of him not even his _parents_ know about!! 

He leans heavily against the sink, glaring up at himself in the mirror as he let's the blood flow out of his arms into the sinks.

_Idiot..He's so fucking stupid. Shadow this, shadow that...he's just an_ **_awful_ ** _person._

He looks back down at his arms. Not as many this time (he's still waiting for the other ones to heal fully..), but it will do..

For now.

* * *

Tenth time was after the camping trip.

Kanji hates him for sure.

Why the fuck did he say that?

He’s a fucking dumbass.

How no one pointed out the scars on his arms when they went swimming he will never know. (Yu did look at his arms for a bit..did he notice? Maybe. He couldn't really care at this.)

He stared with his legs this time. He needs to start getting ready for summer. He needs to see if it carries the same effect.

It does. Thank _god._

He stares at his legs for a bit. Maybe..maybe if he cuts deeper, it would finally make him not able to walk? So he doesn’t have to walk around and see the disappointment in Kanji’s eyes? That’s all he is, all he is a disappointment-

He shakes his head. No..no, he can’t. He’s only good for one thing, and that's helping the team find out the who the murderer is.

And he sure as hell is going to do just that.

* * *

He can’t recall how many times he’s done this at this point.

But it doesn’t matter now.

His wrist, his arms, his legs...they are spilling out blood and mixing in with the bathwater he's laying in.

It’s finally time.

He glances at his phone for a bit, weakly picking it up. He couldn’t be bothered to write a note. Who would care? He could really only think of one person to text. The one person who made him smile genuinely, the one person he trusts the most, the one person who he _loves..._

_ <srry pner _

He’s about to put his phone down, before it buzzes in his hand. He can’t help but look as a flurry of text is sent to him.

_ >What do you mean by sorry? _

_ >Please tell me you aren’t doing what I think… _

_ >Yosuke please don’t do this. _

_ >Yosuke! _

He places the phone back on the counter, ignoring the buzzes of his phone now as he closes his eyes and relaxes.

This place is better off without him anyways. He's doing the world a favor by doing this.

* * *

He can feel something on his hand.

What is…

He can hear faint beeping (A heart monitor…?) as he opens his eyes weakly. He closes them again almost instantly. 

Why is it so bright?

….Why isn’t he _dead?_

He turns to his left, and his breath freezes.

Yu is gripping his hand as he sleeps. He can see tear marks and eyebags on his boyfriend's face.

He makes a small choking sound in surprise, making Yu stir and open his eyes.

_Fuck-_

Yu looks up, and his eyes widen.

“Y-Yosuke..”

Yu quickly puts his hands on Yosuke’s cheeks, and tears start spilling out both of their eyes almost instantly.

“Y..you’re ok..” Yu laughs in relief as more tears spill, and he presses his head against Yosukes. “Y-you’re not dead, y-you’re still here, y-you’re…”

Yu kisses him, which the music lover takes a moment before returning the kiss and closing his eyes.

He can hear the door open, multiple gasps of surprise, and people rushing towards the bed he’s laying on, but he doesn’t break the kiss.

The voices go from “Y-you dumbass!” (Chie is..worried about him?) to “Teddie was b-beary worried about you..” (He scared Teddie..oh god he scared someone that looked up to him-) to "Thank god you are safe, Yosuke-Senpai.."(Even Naoto...?)

Yu pulls away from the kiss, once again cupping Yosuke's cheeks. "You.." Yu looks away, before holding Yosuke's hands. "You were so..so _close_ to...we almost... _I_ almost…"

…he was close to succeeding…?

Yosuke slowly interlocks Yu's fingers with his own. He takes a deep breath while his mind is still running. He can really only think of one thing to say.

"..I..I'm sorry."

**Author's Note:**

> I
> 
> Don't know how to end this so-
> 
> Yea


End file.
